Seinfeld is a Show About Clothing
From beginning to end (literally) the one guiding light in the GOAT sitcom is clothes.
Do you remember the episode of Seinfeld where Kramer is stricken with the idea of making a coffee table book about coffee tables? While Kramer may be a bit “bonkos”, this idea took him all the way to the actual set of Live with Regis and Kathie Lee, where his short-lived segment ended with him spitting out the bad studio coffee all over Kathie Lee’s dress.
That brings me to my own coffee table book idea which I had several years back; the idea that Seinfeld is not simply the “show about nothing” the meta narrative about the fact that nothing of meaning ever occurs between the main characters (a premise which is generally false), but is actually a show about clothing.
Now if this was a real thesis about what Seinfeld is about, it would be easy to poke holes in. Clothing and our relationship to it is truthfully just one of many neurotic themes that are explored through the genius minds of Larry David and Jerry Seinfeld. But this idea of a coffee book arguing that Seinfeld is the show about clothing is really just a disguise for the idea of logging all of the clothing references in the show, which the book would log.
Because of the fact that such an exhaustive and scientific representation of the clothing references in Seinfeld requires intense active watching, and these days I mostly watch Seinfeld simply to fall asleep to, I have not gotten around to putting in the ground work to make such a book a reality. However, the thesis is as such: Seinfeld opens and closes on scenes depicting a rather benign discussion between Jerry and George about the placement of a button on George’s shirt. In between these scenes, there are any number of references to clothing that are as iconic as any other moment in the entire series.
In the absence of an exhaustive list, the headlines of the list are below, in no particular order:
(not an exhaustive list)
Jerry’s suede jacket with the candy-stripe lining
The “puffy” shirt (“I don’t wanna be a pirate”)
The Technicolor Dreamcoat (definitely not a pimp coat)
Jerry’s cowboy boots (“I don’t wanna be a cowboy”)
The “urban sombrero” (+ the entire storyline of Elaine working for J. Peterman, a J.Crew-like catalog)
“Golden Boy” (Jerry’s beloved yellow t-shirt)
George’s Gore-Tex jacket (before Arc’Teryx made it cool)
Bania “gifts” Jerry a brand new Armani suit…
…2 episodes later, Kramer sells Bania the suit off his back
The Man/Brossiere
Kramer trailblazing the A.P.C. Petit New Standard trend
The #1 DAD t-shirt (shoutout to the Mandelbaums)
Larry David’s cape
These are but the most prominent examples, many if not most of which made up entire episode storylines, but trust me that there are many more B, C, or D-plot examples, and that is what I aim to prove out with my coffee table book.
Now, this idea of logging all of the references to clothing and/or textiles in the show, I must admit, I got from a classmate in a TFD class at UW-Madison, but I cannot remember who it was. (If this was you, please make yourself known for co-writing credit in this unreleased coffee table book).